The truth about career success after becoming a mum

Before I became a mum, success looked rather different to what it looks like now.

Success used to look like working on meaningful HR projects with organisations who valued HR, exploring different countries with my husband, spending quality time with friends and family, and having plenty of opportunities to express my creative side. 

Motherhood changed everything for me, but in a way that brought more purpose and passion into my life. I still love doing all the things I loved before, but my priorities and values have changed and evolved now that I am a mum, and I am ok with that. But it took some time to get there, and I am always learning and evolving.

At times I have felt completely lost and found myself wondering, can I really have a career I love and be the present, connected mum I want to be? Turns out, yes! But not without a few plot twists along the way. Little did I know that I was simply evolving into someone new. The truth is you don't know what you don't know, until you know. 

Becoming a mum has been a constant reminder to trust the process, and enjoy the little things. It is quite a rollercoaster at times, but it is so worth the ride. 

Today I want to talk about the word success when it comes to your career, and what it means after becoming a mum, because the reality is many mums can feel a bit lost and start to question who they are and whether they will be able to have a successful career again.

Out with the old, and in with the new

Society can often lead you to think that success in your career means more money, a flashy job title, external validation, and climbing that career ladder. Maybe that was the case for you at some point, and that is ok, but I bet that feels a lot harder now you are a mum. 

Did you know that according to research; 1 in 4 women consider leaving the workplace due to lack of support after becoming a mum. 

While becoming a mum is widely supported and valued throughout society, many working mums continue to struggle to find realistic balance and the support they need to perform and advance in their careers. This might be one of the reasons many women don’t like the term work-life balance, because it can feel impossible to achieve. 

According to a survey carried out by Peanut, 90% of women feel expected to work like they don't have children, and mother like they don’t work. I can absolutely resonate with this, and this is one of the reasons I do what I do, as I want to help change the way mums feel and show up in the workplace.

I remember when I returned to work after having my first child, I definitely felt a lot of imposter syndrome, thinking I couldn't do what I did before (even though it wasn't that long ago), and I was also worried that my clients may be concerned about how committed and productive I would be now that I was a mum. It really knocked my confidence at the time. In reality I was more committed as my son gave me more purpose to do the kind of work I wanted so I could spend more time with him, and show him what is possible. And as for performance, becoming a mum really teaches you to make the most of your time. 

In the workplace there are many instances of discrimination, unsupportive environments, and a disregard for flexibility and caregiving responsibilities that make it harder for mums to find realistic work-life balance. 

This can lead to:

• Limited opportunity for career progression

• Impact on mental health

• Stress and burnout

• Stepping back from your career

• Finding alternative work that doesn't bring you joy

What did success mean to you in your career before you became a mum?

Signs it’s time to redefine success

How do you feel about career success now? Do any of the following sound like you?

• You feel disconnected from your work, even though it looks good on paper

• You constantly feel like you’re falling short in all areas

• You’re craving more meaning, impact, creativity, or balance

• You feel guilty chasing your ambitions or giving them up

• You want to live life aligned with your values, but you have no idea what your values even are

If these resonate with you then keep reading, as it could be a sign that you need to redefine what success looks like for you. 

Start by listening to your needs

Redefining success can feel uncomfortable and hard, but that is because a lot of mums feel guilty or selfish for putting their needs first. But isn't this a great way to show your kids what is possible if you step out of your comfort zone and go for what you really want? I do, and this is part of my why for what I do as a career and motherhood coach. I want my kids to believe that they can do hard things, and that their needs matter. 

Ask powerful questions

So let’s start redefining what success looks like for you when it comes to your career. Here are a few questions to help you reflect on what matters most to you. 

• What do you want (in work, life, and motherhood) but currently feel like you can't have?

• What makes you feel energized and fulfilled?

• What kind of example do you want to set for your children?

• What does success feel like, not just look like?

What comes up for you?

Think progress over perfection

Whenever I work with a client, we always start with clarity. If you know what you’re aiming for, then you can reverse engineer how to get there. If there is no destination, then how will you know where you are going, or how you are going to get there? 

You need to get clear on what career success looks and feels like. What will you be able to do once you achieve it? How will this impact other areas of your life? What will it give you? 

It has to make sense to you, and motivate you to take action. Because there will be days where things don't quite go to plan, and it's on those days that you will need to look to your why to remember why you're doing it in the first place. 

As a busy mum, you are going to get side-tracked and distracted with other priorities. You know this already. I am a big believer in starting small and breaking things down so they feel more possible. All those little actions add up and gradually move the needle. So just keep showing up. Progress over perfection.

You may have a bad day, or a terrible week, but you can lower expectations and keep going in realistic ways that work for you. When you only have 30%, and you give 30%, then that is 100%. Focus on what is within your control or influence. You will get there, keep on believing in yourself, and surround yourself with people that believe in you too. 

Give yourself permission to experiment

Take a moment today to ask yourself: What would success feel like if I gave myself full permission to define it on my terms—without guilt or external pressure?

I hope this post has helped you reflect on where you are right now and the kind of career success you want to see in the future. 

Success is a feeling, it’s not a destination. You are not behind, you are growing and evolving every single day, and your version of career success can too. 

If you feel you need some support as you work on this, I am here to help.

I offer flexible and affordable 1:1 coaching packages that can help you get to where you want to be. My goal is to meet you where you are and work in ways that make sense to you, ensuring a truly personalised and supportive experience.

Book your complimentary coaching call today.