How to confidently make decisions without the constant overthinking and mum guilt

As a mum, you’re faced with decisions every day—some big, some small. From balancing work and family life to making choices about your own personal goals, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of decisions that need to be made. Some call it the mental load that comes with being a mum. Add to that the pressure to make the “right” choice, and it’s no wonder many of us end up overthinking and feel stuck on what to do next.

If you’ve ever found yourself paralysed by decision fatigue, second-guessing every option, or feeling stuck between “what ifs,” please know this: you're not alone. The key to making confident decisions lies in understanding how to clear the mental clutter and trust yourself. 

In this blog post, I’ll guide you through the process of making decisions with confidence—without getting caught in the cycle of overthinking or mum guilt. 

Here are some practical strategies that can help you move forward with clarity and ease.

Step 1: Get clear on what matters most

Before you can make a decision, you need to understand what really matters in the situation. This is why I always start with clarity when working with my clients. Whether you’re deciding on a career change, how to spend your time, or whether to say yes to a new commitment, you’ll need to connect with your values and priorities.

Ask yourself:

• What’s the long-term impact of this decision?

• What would make me feel proud of my choice?

• Which option aligns with my values right now, even if it’s hard?

Tip: Take a moment to reflect on your current life priorities. These might include family, career, personal well-being, or self-growth. By aligning your decisions with your core values, you’ll make choices that feel more authentic and possible.

Not sure what your core values even are? Not to worry, I can help you with this. Book your complimentary coaching call today and we can start by exploring what your core values are.

Step 2: Embrace imperfection

One of the biggest barriers to decision-making is the fear of making a mistake. This is when mum guilt can creep up on us too, We often think that if we make the wrong decision, everything will fall apart and it is a reflection on the kind of mum we are. The truth is, there is rarely a perfect answer, and sometimes the "right" choice is just the one you feel ready to take at the time. 

Tip: Start thinking of decisions as opportunities for learning. You may not always get it right, but you’ll always gain valuable experience. As a creative person, I like to see decisions as experiments. This makes it more fun for me, and if I get it wrong, then I experiment some more and see what happens. This has allowed me to make lots of mistakes but completely reframe how I see them. They are just opportunities for me to learn and grow. How you could you reframe the way you see decisions and mistakes?

Step 3: Trust your gut

As mums, we often develop a strong sense of intuition, especially when it comes to our families. But that intuitive sense can extend beyond motherhood. Trusting your gut feeling can help you make decisions without needing to overthink every single scenario.

Ask yourself: 

• What is my gut telling me right now?

• Does one option feel more aligned with my gut instinct, even if I don’t have all the facts?

Tip: To strengthen your intuition, try quieting the mental noise for a few moments. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and listen to what your inner voice has to say. Your intuition is often a powerful guide, especially when you’re feeling stuck. What is it trying to tell you?

Step 4: Set a time limit for decision-making

Overthinking often occurs when we give ourselves endless time to decide, allowing doubt and anxiety to creep in, and secretly hoping that someone else makes the decision for us (but it has to be the right one). This can stop us from taking action altogether, and this can then impact our confidence. Setting a time limit can help you avoid spiraling into overthinking mode and give you the freedom to move forward.

Tip: Pick a time frame that feels reasonable (e.g., 24 hours for smaller decisions, a week for bigger ones). Once the time is up, make your decision and stick to it. Often, the decision-making process is more exhausting than the actual decision itself!

Step 5: Take the first step

Once you’ve made a decision, the next step is to take action. Even if you’re unsure or still have lingering doubts, taking that first step forward will help build momentum and boost your confidence. Confidence is built by taking action. 

Think back to when you first became a mum and what you used to overthink. Look at you now, you are more confident with those choices because you took action and learned what worked and what didn't.

Ask yourself: 

• What’s the smallest action I can take to start moving in the direction I’ve chosen?

• What will make me feel empowered to move forward?

Tip: Start small—whether it’s putting a reminder in your phone, writing out your to-do list, or sticking a note on the fridge door. Taking action allows you to build confidence and trust in your decision-making process. It also get unstuck and feel better knowing that you have taken that first step. Breaking things down into more manageable step makes things more possible, I tell my clients this all the time.

Step 6: Be compassionate with yourself

Finally, one of the most important things you can do as a mum to avoid overthinking is to practice self-compassion. Decisions are tough, and there will always be elements beyond your control. When you make a decision, show yourself the kindness and compassion you show others. You are doing your best, and that’s enough.

Tip: Next time you find yourself second-guessing, take a moment to remind yourself: being kind to yourself can help  you give yourself permission to make mistakes and to not have everything figured out.

Moving forward with confidence

By following these steps, you’ll start to notice a shift in how you approach decisions. Rather than feeling lost in overthinking mode and burdened by mum guilt, you’ll be able to trust yourself and make choices that align with your values and the kind of mum that you want to be.

With time, you’ll become more confident in your decision-making process, allowing you to move forward without hesitation.

Remember, progress over perfection teaches your child(ren) that mistakes are ok, having self-doubt is ok, and it doesn’t define your success or who you are.

You don't have to do this alone

If you’re feeling stuck or uncertain about a decision in your life right now, I’m here to help. Whether you’re returning to work, making a career change, or simply trying to manage the mental load, I offer flexible and affordable 1:1 coaching packages that can help you get to where you want to be. My goal is to meet you where you are and work in ways that make sense to you, ensuring a truly personalised and supportive experience.

Book your complimentary coaching call today.